Playin’ “Nice” with Roll Bama Roll

You’ve heard all the talk about Tua’s injury, Burrow’s Heisman, playoff scenarios, conference superiority and even the goddamn President. It seems like everything that could be said about Saturday’s LSU-Alabama game has been said by now. However, our friend Rickie Muncie at Roll Bama Roll was still able to give us some special insight into how the folks in Tuscaloosa feel about the big game. Let’s see what they’re up to...

1. For the second time this decade, LSU and Alabama are playing as the top two teams in the AP Poll. Are Bama fans struggling to get hyped for the game since the last time it happened the result ended up being completely meaningless?

There is no struggle to get hyped, at least not on the Crimson end of things. There is actually a large degree of respect for your program. The piece that might be different for us is that we have a lot of teams pinning targets to our backs.

• Auburn claims us as their chief rival.
• Auburn-with-a-lake claims to be on our level.
• Tennessee claims us as a rival.
• In the past, Ole Miss and Mississippi State each pointed toward Tuscaloosa.
• Hell, even Texas A&M rode Manziel Magic for a season and thought that put them on a plane with the Tide, all while totally not texting the Longhorns just to see if the read receipts were turned on.

But the Bayou Bengals – like us – are not afraid to be who they are. Yes, this game is important, but only as a means to an end.

2. On a related note, do Bama fans even remember how to get hyped for a big regular season game against a ranked team?

We very well do know how to get hyped. We just don’t have the benefit of all the night games that some of our division brethren seem to count as blessings.

But, yes. We get plenty hype, without the need for artificial stimulus.

3. The President of the United States will be in attendance Saturday. How quickly would the state of Alabama secede from the Union if he were to say something negative about Nick Saban?

There are so many aspects of that question to unpack.

First of all, we don’t know whether Trump is more interested in Alabama, by thwarting a Jeff Sessions senate bid before it can launch – or in Louisiana, where he seems determined to help the GOP unseat Jon Bel Edwards as your governor.

But bear in mind that a lot of Trump’s support would also be aligned with Auburn fans – and Alabama fans might give him the side-eye if he bloviates about how wonderful Tommy Tuberville would be in the Senate. Pine boxes for everyone.

4. Are Bama fans nervous about actually having to play defense against LSU for the first time in nine years?

Bama fans have been nervous about playing defense ever since Dylan Moses went down. I mean, we have middle linebackers so young that it is doubtful they remember the last time we lost to Tennessee.

The fascinating part of this matchup is how similar we are to each other offensively. Both of our defenses will have seen similar offensive concepts for months.

This has to be an exciting time for you – so many games where LSU hits 50 points, as opposed to games where you struggled to reach the 50.

5. Are they also excited about Willie Taggart joining the staff as an assistant coa- oops sorry, as an offensive analyst?

I feel bad for Willie. He finally got his dream job, but he was destined to fail. Jimbo left town at least partially because the administration cut off his resources. Specifically, he was told that there would be no dollars to buy out the contracts of any assistants he wanted. Which means the only assistants you can get are already unemployed.

So poor Coach Taggart comes in, and can’t get the staff he wants.

To be honest, he would make an outstanding analyst. If you recall some of the stunting and line shifts his Western Kentucky team pulled on Alabama a few years ago, you would know that he is very astute and breaks down film in a smart way.

He’s too good a recruiter to spend any time in Nick Saban’s Program for the Rehabilitation of Wayward Coaches. He’ll end up someplace where he can pitch the kids directly.

6. Is there any cortisone left in the entire state or has it all been injected into Tua’s ankle already?

Nope. All deer antler spray, all the time.

Besides – how fast does he really need to be?