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And The Valley Scripts: Santa Visits Ed Orgeron’s House On Christmas Eve

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What did Santa bring Coach O? The thing he wants more than anything else...

Ha-Vy Nguyen

MIDNIGHT ON CHRISTMAS EVE

INT. THE FIREPLACE AT THE ORGERON HOUSEHOLD

We pan around the living room of the Orgeron house. It is dark and silent. Not a creature is stirring. All of a sudden, rustling comes from the chimney. A large man plops onto the firewood, and crawls out carrying a sack over his shoulder. It’s Santa Claus! He gets up, dusts himself off and approaches the nearby Christmas tree. He looks down into his sack and pulls out a wrapped present. It is 35 pounds, 26.5 inches tall and oblong-shaped. The person it is for has been good this year, and Santa knows he will enjoy this present more than anyone else.

SANTA: It’s been a long time comin’ for this one.

Santa bends over to place it under the tree, when all of a sudden…

CRACK!!!

A metal object slams against Santa in the back, who crumbles to the ground in pain.

SANTA: Son of a Blitzen! What are you do-

BAM!

Santa is hit again, this time in the stomach.

SANTA: Please, please stop!

Santa turns to see a man wearing LSU pajamas standing over him holding a metal baseball bat.

ED ORGERON: WHATTAYOU DOIN’ HERE? YOU A SOONAH SPY OR SOMETHIN’?

SANTA: Sooner Spy?? It’s me, Santa Claus! I’m here to bring you presents! What are you doing awake at this hour?

ORGERON: I’m tryin’ to win a College Footbaw Playoff. I don’ sleep no more!

Santa brings himself to his feet and begins to smile.

SANTA: Oh trust me Ed, I know how much you want that Playoff Trophy. Lucky for you, you’ve been a good boy this year. You’ve brought joy to a lot of people in Louisiana these last few months.

Orgeron begins to smile and tries to choke it back.

ORGERON: I mean yeah, but I’m jus tryin’ to do my job yaknow?

SANTA: I know, but this has been a special year for a lot of people.

Santa reaches down and picks the present up off the ground.

SANTA: I know you’re all supposed to wait until the morning, but I’ll make an exception this time. Here you go.

Santa gives the present to Orgeron. He looks back at Santa curiously, who nods, telling him to go ahead and open it. Orgeron tears the wrapping off. His jaw drops when he sees what’s inside ― the College Football Playoff Trophy.

ORGERON: It’s… the… Coll- College Footb- Co-co-co…

SANTA: Yes young lad, that is the College Football Playoff Trophy. You’ve earned it.

Orgeron, on the edge of tears, hugs the trophy. He then looks up at Santa and hugs him. The image of Ed Orgeron hugging Santa Claus is an iconic, triumphant image. Like the moment where Kevin McAllister is reunited with his mom but somehow a hundred times more moving and heartwarming.

SANTA: Take good care of that now. Don’t let the success get to your head. Be a good boy again this year and maybe you’ll get another one next Christmas. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go. My reindeer might be getting restless without me. There’s no way I could do this all by myself!

Orgeron’s beaming smile begins to fade and he looks up from the trophy. He thinks about how he needed the entire LSU football team to get to this point, and how he alone is not responsible for this trophy.

ORGERON: Wait! Santa, wait!

Santa stops just as he was about to climb up the chimney. He turns and looks back at Orgeron with curiosity.

ORGERON: I’m sorry but… I can’ accept this trophy. You gotta take it back.

SANTA: What do you mean, Ed? Isn’t this what you want more than anything in the world?

ORGERON: It is, but not like this. I wanna win it with my team. I wanna get this trophy with the guys who got me there. They deserve it just’s much as I do.

Santa puts his hands on his hips and smiles.

SANTA: Well it is my job to bring all the good boys and girls what they want the most. And since this isn’t what you want, I guess I need to find something else to give you.

ORGERON: I didn’ mean to put you in a bind. I’m so busy gettin’ ready for this Playoff, I understan’ if you just don’ give me anythin’ this year.

Santa takes the trophy out of Orgeron’s hands and places it back in his bag.

SANTA: Wishing to receive this trophy with your team instead of right here is exactly why you’ve been such a good boy this year. I’m proud of you, Ed. And if I can’t give you this trophy, right now, maybe I’ll find another way to help you get this trophy in a couple weeks.

Orgeron smiles.

ORGERON: Thank you, Santa.

SANTA: Now I know you’ve got a Playoff coming up, but you really should get some sleep. Take it from me, a guy who works one night a year, rest is valuable. Take care and good luck!

Santa climbs up through the chimney. Orgeron grins as he leaves, looks around the room and goes back to bed.

8 A.M. CHRISTMAS MORNING

After taking Santa’s advice and getting a full night’s sleep, Orgeron wakes up. He walks to the kitchen and pours himself a cup of coffee. He begins walking to his office to begin watching more film when something out the window catches his eye. Orgeron opens the front door and drops his coffee, stunned. Sitting in the driveway is a purple 2020 Hummer with gold tiger stripes on it. A bow sits on the hood. Orgeron walks up to it and sees a note that reads “Ed, Had this made at the last minute. Hope it has enough gas to get to Atlanta! -SC.” Orgeron smiles and fistpumps. He gets in, starts the engine, turns on ESPN radio and takes a cruise around the neighborhood.

ORGERON: Well idunno how this is ‘spose to help me win the Playoff, but this ain’t a bad gift, Santa.

Just then, a breaking news alert comes over the radio.

ESPN RADIO: A stunning development in the world of college football: The entire Ohio State, Clemson and Oklahoma teams have been suspended due to receiving impermissible benefits. Brand new Camaros were given to every player on all three teams this morning. The NCAA is currently investigating the matter, but it looks as if LSU is a pretty clear Playoff favorite now.