Rumorology Hits the Elite 8

Things have been a bit busy lately, but there’s no reason we can’t follow through and finish our bracket to crown the greatest, craziest, most out-there message board rumor in history.

We’re down to the final match-up in each of our four regions, and we have some truth, some lies, stories that will never die and even one that reached a pretty big anniversary in the past week.

Who will survive?

Stranger Than Fiction: Bobby Petrino’s Motorcycle Wreck vs. Phil Fulmer’s Lawsuit

Robert Patrick Petrino developed a reputation for a number of things as he rose to prominence in the college football world of the early blogosphere.

Honesty, not exactly one of those things he became known for.

Still, when the news of the wreck broke in the spring of 2012, most still didn’t exactly want to see the guy hurt. And then the press conference. The road rash (or “road rash,” according to the rumors) and the Sugar Bowl hat. And then the progression of the leaks. My reaction of which was something like:

“Oh. Well, glad he’s alright.”

“Heh.”

“Oh.”

“OH.”

“I wonder if they’ll fire him for this?”

“They definitely should fire him for this.”

“OH WOW THEY FIRED HIM FOR THIS!”

In the end, Petrino got another job, and his paramour still married her betrothed. Petrino eventually stayed at a job long enough to have to live in the trademark crater he creates before he leaves, and he’ll never got another major college job again.

As for Fulmer, it proved to be much ado about nothing, but he probably still thinks twice about setting foot in Alabama, even as Tennessee’s athletic director.

Rumor Roulette: 1/9/12 vs. Joey Freshwater

Any good conspiracy or rumor starts with the idea that nothing is ever as simple as it seems. And LSU laying one of the greatest eggs in championship history could never come down to bad game-planning, poor preparation or a bad attitude. There has to be something more. And no matter how many times members of that locker room (or other program insiders) insist that there was no fight, some will never believe.

Likewise, rumors have always followed Lane Kiffin, from talk of debauchery with student assistants at Tennessee, to the legend of Jose Aqua Fresca. And given his colorful personality, and public divorce, the rumors aren’t likely going anywhere anytime soon.

Recruiting: As the Plains Burn vs. Ratphuc Hobley

Again, there’s nothing I can say about ATPB that the document itself cannot say.

Hobley is more of a joke, but its one that LSU fans still remember to this day.

Coaching Hires: John Gruden to Tennessee vs. Nick Saban to Texas

The entire reason Grumors are a thing. And a thing that will just come back again in a few years when the Jeremy Pruitt Era ends as well.

Saban to Texas had legs, just not enough to carry it anywhere.