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ATVS Roundtable: Choose Your Own Schadenfreude

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Dearly beloved...we are gathered here to speculate on bad things happening to other people...

NCAA Football: Mississippi at Texas A&M
So you’re sayin’ they can tranesplanet MOAR hair on top my head?
Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Never say we’re not above stealing ideas — this one comes from Dawgsports.

Name a bad thing (on the field) that you want to see happen to a rival team this season?

(Aside from LSU beating them, of course.)

Billy

I’ll start with a game that I see as a two-for: Auburn at Texas A&M. I’m on the record as thinking Auburn’s going to be improved this year, but they have a bear of a start with Oregon, the Aggies, State and Florida in the first five weeks. But circle that A&M game. Win, and its a big momentum piece for Auburn. Meanwhile, a loss would be a gut punch for A&M after the Clemson game and in the leadup to Alabama.

So Auburn is gifted with some false hope with trips to Florida, Arkansas and LSU plus the usual Georgia and Bama. While Aggie takes another big blow during a stretch when they’re probably dropping two more games anyway. In the big picture, that’s a double-whammy in my book.

Dan

I’d really love for Alabama to lose 3 whole regular season games.

But in terms of things that may actually be feasible, let’s go A&M finishes outside of bowl eligibility. It’s a brutal schedule. They’ll win three cupcakes, but nearly every other game on their schedule should at least have some level of competition to it. I’ll spot them Ws vs. rebuilding Arkansas and Ole Miss programs. But where does that sixth win come? South Carolina or State at home? Auburn at home? Georgia or vengeful LSU on the road? They ain’t beating Clemson or Bama. So all the media hype about what Jimbo is building immediately gets flushed when they fail to make a bowl in his second season.

Seth

I actually want Alabama and Texas AM to be undefeated when we play them. If we’re gonna beat Alabama for the first time in 103,790 years, I don’t want them to already have a loss or two. Same with A&M but only cuz they beat us last year and I’m salty.

My actual answer is probably Ole Miss then. I want Ole Miss to just be bad all the time. The Rich Rod acquisition irks me because as much as I like his offense, he’s such a piece of shit and I hope they never score.

Poseur

I would say that I would like for someone else to suffer the same injury luck that LSU has experienced the last few seasons, but then I realize that I’m wishing harm on kids, and that’s just evil. So let’s forget I even thought of it. I’m also inclined to agree with Paul on A&M, who is replacing a lot more than anyone seems willing to admit while playing an extremely brutal schedule. Things could go south quickly, and it would be funny to see buyer’s remorse on Jimbo to kick in.

But frankly, I just want Bama to suffer some sort of bad luck. We kind of ignore how much luck as played a part in the Bama Dynasty, as they are still the only program since World War II to have won a national title without winning their own conference, and they’ve done it twice now. When they lose, tiebreakers seem to work out for them, and if they don’t, they go to the playoffs anyway. So what I really want to see is a one-loss Alabama team miss the playoffs. It would be nice if just once the off-field stuff didn’t completely work out for them even when they fail on the field. It’s bad enough that Bama is loaded and good, they don’t have to be lucky, too.

Evan Saacks

I hope A&M sets the record for overtimes played in a season. I hate how last year’s game is treated as an all-time classic (which is understandable) but nobody seems to talk about how Joe Burrow passed out in the locker room after. That’s bad!

It would be delicious if A&M lost a game in the fifth overtime because of the new two-point conversion rule. If I had it my way, every game they play would be at least two overtimes until they come to Tiger Stadium and lose 72-3 in regulation. Seems fair, right?

One other thing I want to see is Saban getting tossed for arguing with an official. I don’t care what the score is or if it actually affects the game. I just want to be on Twitter when that happens.

Jake

A&M having an equally disappointing and bad year as Florida State, with A&M fans currently plugging their ears about all the reports about how Jimbo let the Noles completely decline, would be delicious schadenfreude.

Zachary Junda

I’m going off the board here. As a future resident of Nashville, I hope Tennessee and Vanderbilt go winless in the SEC and play each other in a never ending OT loop, where one of the coaches gives us a Frank Beamer-esque arms up celebrating a 0-0 tie against Wake Forest. Also! My lady is going to be attending UT in the fall, so I hope Tennessee’s losing streak against Alabama continues into year 13 because if LSU has to keep catching L’s from them, well dammit so too should Tennessee.

Adam

I want Alabama to lose a key play due to a blown targeting call and lose the next game in no small part because of it. But that requires a big call going against the Tide sooooooooooooooo I’m better off waiting for my student loan debt to be erased.