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ATVS Roundtable: Area 51

What secrets are we after?

Area 51 Research Center Photo by mark peterson/Corbis via Getty Images

Since Area 51 has been in the news...sort of...lately, how about this scenario. You have a chance to invade LSU’s version of Area 51 and learn whatever program secrets you want. What are you after?


I’ve always been pretty cynical when it comes to recruiting and the “dirty” side of it. And we know a lot more than we used to know about these things, and in the social media era kids aren’t exactly that adept at keeping my secrets, either. That said, I’d love to get a real look behind the curtain. The real details of how these things work. The money, the job offers, the handlers and bagmen and all of it.

The stories that we know are already pretty fantastic, and I’ve had enough conversations with People Who Know Things™ to know that sometimes the truth is crazier than the legend. I’d love to know more details. How’s the barber in Amite doing Alabama’s bidding? Did we have the governor arrange pardons for members of Ryan Perrilloux’s family? How crazy can it all really be?


What alien spaceship at Area 51 did they model the new football locker rooms after?


I figure a lot of people want to know “what really happened” in the locker room during the title game in 2011. Or the behind the scenes conversations that lead to Miles being nearly fired but then not fired within a week. Or maybe what it took to finally bring down Joe Alleva. Or maybe the famed “why’d we pass on Steve Spurrier” rumor.

But me? I just want to know the secret behind Keiland Williams’ calves.


I want to find the tapes of all the meetings that happened the week of the 2015 Texas A&M game. Who was arguing for/against Les? What side was Alleva on? Did they REALLY decide to keep him while we were trailing 7-6 in the third quarter? Because I call bullshit on that.

Likewise, I would love to see how Miles handled the week because I imagine he just carried on without a care about anything. Les Miles smiling while the world closes in around him seems like a delightful thing to see.


This will sound out there but hear me out on this one, how do people really feel about the funding of the football locker room.


Mysteries are always better than the answers. It’s why a magician never reveals his tricks, or why we spend more time arguing preseason ratings than postseason ratings. The mystery is what’s interesting. It’s the argument or even the possibilities. Getting definitive answers would ruin it.

But if I had to choose something, I would love to know what everyone said and did after the Troy loss. At that point in his tenure, Orgeron looked lost and that the program had hit the iceberg, all that was left was waiting to go down. The time for finger pointing and recriminations was right then. But instead of falling apart, the team came together. With the benefit of hindsight, it looks like that wasn’t Orgeron floundering helplessly, but instead trying to figure out what worked and what didn’t. LSU was 3-2 after the Troy game, and looked headed to a possible losing season. Since that disastrous loss, LSU is 16-5. What happened?