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Playin’ “Nice” with Burnt Orange Nation

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Forget stats and tape, let’s see if Texas fans can answer the real questions LSU fans have

NCAA Football: Louisiana Tech at Texas Scott Wachter-USA TODAY Sports

We’re only two days away from the showdown in Austin between LSU and Texas. Yesterday Zach shared some thoughts on the game from Burnt Orange Nation’s Gerald Goodridge. After discussing the boring numbers and analytics stuff, Gerald was kind enough to give his take on the things LSU fans REALLY want to know about.

1. There’s a lot of talk by both LSU and Texas about both schools being “DBU.” Can you explain to me how Texas can be Defensive Back University when a defensive back hasn’t played for a Big 12 team since 2011?

I‘m not one to argue, but I’d like to ask former LSU commit, and reigning Big 12 Freshman of the Year, Caden Sterns about the lack of defensive backs playing at the University of Texas. I think the misconception on the lack of defensive backs actually is a cultural barrier between the SEC and the Big 12, as the Big 12 boasts these other players called “competent quarterbacks” that are rare, but not completely foreign in the SEC.

2. Does beefing with LSU fans bother Texas fans because it makes them feel like Aggies?

In order for Texas fans to feel like Aggies it would take a clearly better team losing to the younger brother of an all-time great in the final meeting ever on their home field.

3. Are Longhorns and Aggies already arguing about who trash-talks LSU better?

I haven’t experienced that, but I also think it’s different types of trash talk. The Texas trash talk feels more like “we see you as equals” where the Aggies feels more like “Hey! Remember that time where the referees helped us win a game? Do you also remember when we lost to the eventual national champion by the smallest margin of anyone all year while they were playing a guy who eventually transferred because he got beat out?”

4. Do Texas fans know what Sam Ehlinger did to make everyone outside Austin say he’s not that good?

It could be the 308 pass attempts without an interception. It could be his performance the sixth player in the last 20 years to pass for 20 TDs and rushing for 15 in the same season. Not sure.

5. Matthew McConaughey was recently hired to be a film professor at UT. Will the class be studying actual films, or will they just re-watch the 2005 Rose Bowl on repeat?

Now there’s where you and I can agree Kimosabe. Time is a flat circle, so what you see as a 15-year-old game, I see as an event that will inevitably lead Texas to its next National Championship. That DVD is really just vector device. By studying the past, we are able to tap into the essence of personhood and learn from the story in our DNA. The best thing about that game is that Vince continues to get older, but the memories stay the same age.

Also I hope they watch Frailty. Underrated McConaughey flick.