The chapters of LSU’s perfect 2019 season will never be forgotten. The epic Third and 17 against Texas, the demon-exorcising win in Tuscaloosa, and the final knockout punch in the Superdome will be talked about for generations. But in this day and age where Twitter and social commentary are so prevalent, it’s important to remember the things that made us laugh. Watching your team win is obviously great, but we were blessed with some absolutely hilarious memories from our journey. So let’s revisit...
Honorable Mention: John Goodman on Gameday
It was tremendously brief, but having Goodman as the guest picker at an LSU College Gameday, semi-in-character as Ed Lawrence, would have made a high spot on this list for any other season. That he went 12-1 in his picks and was the celebrity guest picker champion for the season was just icing on the cake.
John Goodman is my spirit animal pic.twitter.com/YXCcIRbhXR— PodKATT (@valleyshook) October 14, 2019
10 . Matthew McConaughey saying “Fuck!” on ESPN after LSU iced the win over Texas
A great crowd reaction gif is one of the crowned jewels of the college football internet. A large portion of the sport’s greatest gifs come from the mere spectators. But when the disappointed fan being giffed happens to be a world-renowned Academy Award-winning actor who hangs around his favorite college football program more than a Make-A-Wish kid, it serves as reminder that it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from... if you invest yourself in this sport you will get punched in the gut just like the rest of us.
9. This tweet from my good friend Jarrett
@ The Ohio State— Jarrett Major (@Jarrett_tdr) December 8, 2019
YOU COULDA HAD A BAD BITCH
HELPED YOU WITH YOUR CAREER
JUST A LITTLE. pic.twitter.com/YpW4POfin7
I still think about it routinely. What a masterpiece.
8. Marcus Spears and Ryan Clark constantly yelling about LSU to their ESPN colleagues
Former LSU greats Spears and Clark have both been working their way up the ESPN ladder to become analysts well-liked by most sports fans. They would love to talk bout being Tigers at heart while still maintaining a sense of professionalism. But the week before the Alabama game something happened...
Y’all saw that look in his eyes right after Stephen A. Smith said that? Marcus was ready to go to war. And when LSU proved the meme man incorrect, Spears talked that talk.
Even after this, the loud yelling man continued to pick against LSU until the very end when there was no one else to pick against. What happened then? Marcus and Ryan let him know.
7. Kelly Orgeron joining the student section in a sarcastic Gator Chomp
As someone who was in that student section, let me tell you what a beautiful moment it all was. It became even more beautiful when I checked Twitter after the game and saw the First Lady of LSU football partaking in the troll. Horns Down might be the most recognizable troll in the country, but good luck finding one that matches the pageantry of this.
6. Texas wearing “There’s only one DBU” shirts then promptly giving up 471 yards and 4 TDs
Other schools have long made laughable “claims” at LSU’s DBU title.
But proclaiming there is “only one DBU” is awfully bold. Especially from a Big-12 team. Wearing this before a game is, uh... also bold! Now sure, LSU didn’t look like DBU against Texas either, but we didn’t wear any damn shirts saying it!
5. Petty Joe Burrow shit
I could write a whole separate story about Joe Burrow’s top ten pettiest moments.
Joe Burrow: [throws fourth TD pass; fifth TD of the game]— Ramzy Nasrallah (@ramzy) September 21, 2019
Nobody on the Vanderbilt bench: how many TDs does LSU have
Joe Burrow: pic.twitter.com/G3GhWUaBA2
There are so many.
Joe Burrow is "excited for Saturday" vs. Texas A&M.— Cody Worsham (@CodyWorsham) November 24, 2019
"Chance to go 12-0."
Having a good quarterback is one blessing. Having a quarterback who’s good and also talks shit is more than we could’ve ever asked for.
JOE BURROW SAYS IT'S RING SZN pic.twitter.com/MC3Pu5rv23— Yahoo Sports College Football (@YahooSportsCFB) January 14, 2020
4. Joe Burrow’s ass
My favorite part of this is that CBS felt the need to give us TWO angles of Joe Burrow's butt pic.twitter.com/AQqkDlex7z— CJ Fogler (@cjzer0) October 19, 2019
I’m torn on this. On one hand I kind of wish this happened in another season with an average quarterback because butt jokes would’ve been a good remedy for a tough season that needed some jokes. On the other hand, only Joe Burrow is good enough to make us all forget about his ass because of his dominance on the field.
my 2019 mid-season heisman rankings:— kennedi landry (@landryyy14) October 21, 2019
1. joe burrow’s ass
2. joe burrow
4. jalen hurts
In a game LSU won by four scores and Burrow smashed LSU’s single-season touchdown record, all anyone could talk about after were those cheeks.
All across Louisiana, boyfriends still have their feelings hurt from their girl retweeting a picture of Joe Burrow's ass four times this weekend— with a q (@marq113) October 21, 2019
LSU Twitter 3:30 pm: C'mon offense, lets score some touchdowns!— Evan Saacks (@evansaacks) October 19, 2019
LSU Twitter 5:15 pm: Joe Burrow is the best QB ever!
LSU Twitter 5:20 pm: A S S
3. Joe Burrow throwing more TDs in Matt Ryan’s stadium than Matt Ryan
I love stats. If you follow me on Twitter you’ve likely seen me tweet some weird numbers or coincidences that, almost always, have no bearing on the outcomes of past or future sporting events. They are simply fun to me.
Joe Burrow has thrown more TDs in Mercedes-Benz Stadium in 2019 than Matt Ryan.— Evan Saacks (@evansaacks) December 28, 2019
But this stat? My God... this stat. Write it on my gravestone. Melt it down so I can bathe in it. Or inject it into my bloodstream. Or both. This stat hits home for so many different reasons. What I couldn’t believe was how ANGRY Falcons fans got in the mentions! I’m not a U TRIGGERED BRO type of guy, I truly believe sports are better when everyone is having fun. But they were coming at me asking how many of those TDs came against an NFL defense. I had no idea they were this defensive of Matt Ryan. Maybe they just didn’t show up to the games this year and never saw him throw nine interceptions and eight touchdowns in seven home games.
2. “Roll Tide what? FUCK YOU!”
RTWFY isn’t just a celebration... nor is it a taunt, or even an instigation. It is a mindset. For eight years we’ve talked about how LSU won’t go anywhere until they can beat Alabama. To hell with that. We can go wherever we goddamn please. They are not the impediment holding us back. Coach O telling the team how we’re gonna beat their ass every time they see us is exactly why this was the team that finally beat them. Because that’s what they are, “them.” They ain’t special. We don’t get a trophy for beating them. They were just another team in our way. They’re not our problem anymore, we’re they’re problem.
1. The Offense
I’ve heard some people say they’re sick of hearing about the 2019 LSU offense. If you’re one of those people, you better get okay with it real quick because they will be talked about for decades.
Good morning. Here are all 95 touchdowns LSU scored in the 2019-20 season played at 500% speed because that's the only way it would fit on Twitter. pic.twitter.com/DsegCPvesj— Evan Saacks (@evansaacks) January 14, 2020
This offense was many things: explosive, versatile, relentless, indiscriminate, and when you think about it, hysterical. More than anything I found myself laughing at LSU’s offense this season.
LSU played a schedule this year that included Clemson, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Auburn, Texas A&M, Texas and Oklahoma, and averaged... 48 points per game. FORTY EIGHT! Hope you enjoyed watching that offense. Dont know when we'll see something like that again— Aaron Torres (@Aaron_Torres) January 14, 2020
For years we said “Man if LSU just had an above average offense we could coast to a National Championship.” Well they did get an above average offense. If you told me LSU’s offense would improve after the hiring of Joe Brady I would’ve believed you. But it wasn’t just an above average offense. It wasn’t just the best offense in the SEC. It wasn’t just the best offense in the country. It wasn’t just only good passing or running, it wasn’t only good because of one extraordinary player, and it wasn’t just good because it played a bunch of bad defense.
The 2019 LSU Tigers rolled out the best offense in the 150-year history of college football.
LSU... our LSU.
This decade of LSU football has been the poster-boy for a program held back by an old-fashioned, uninspired offense. It took ONE SEASON to transform it into the BEST. ONE. EVER. How can you not laugh at that?? It’s as if LSU has been hunkered down in the trenches dodging gunfire for 12 years until Ed Orgeron casually said, “Hey why don’t we light these sticks of dynamite we’ve had sitting right here the whole time?” and effortlessly blew our enemies away, dusted himself off, and walked home to eat a ham sandwich. LSU had been minding its business until Coach O decided to take a sledgehammer to the concrete in the basement and dig out all his guns.
The 2019 LSU offense will be to college football offenses what the 1985 Chicago Bears defense is to NFL defenses: the standard to which every unit is held. And they made this transition over the course of one year.
I will laugh forever.