Why I Am Completely Convinced LSU Will Beat Clemson

By Sunday? Hoo boy, by Sunday, I’m going to be walking through the French Quarter with a beverage in my hand, dancing like I’m an extra in the Get the Gat video and acting like payday is tomorrow.

The rent is due, Dabo Swinney, no matter how much you complain about it.

Tigahs by 40, explained:

1. Joe Burrow, man. Come on.

5,208 yards, 55 touchdowns, six interceptions, one Heisman trophy, balls of steel and a swag that can’t be contained by the Milky Way Galaxy. Next.

2. This team is so far gone from 2011. There’s zero correlation.

Even the seniors on this team, if they were paying attention at 11 or 12, won’t have the horror show of January 9, 2012 in their brains on Monday. We all might in the stands, but we’re old, and old people hold onto things for too long. There’s no voodoo left.

3. How many times do we have to worry and then see them execute?

It’s that ritual. We’ve been conditioned by both LSU and the Saints over the last decade to be crushed at the end of the season. When Kyle Rudolph pulled down the game-winning touchdown last Sunday, we simply walked to the bar, closed out our tab, said, “Well, that’ll happen,” and went home to sulk.

We’ve been waiting on that day all season with these Tigers. They haven’t shown it. Not once. They even talk shit in interviews. Bulletin board material? Doesn’t exist. Or it doesn’t matter. Nothing is stopping them.

4. Clyde does Clyde things.

Clyde is 100% back, meaning the LSU Death Star is fully charged and ready to shatter the aw-shucks facade Dabo Swinney has constructed into harmless nanoparticles.

LSU will need him. Clyde is arguably the most talented and versatile running back in the country and he is a seamless fit into what the two Joes—Brady and Burrow—want to do. He’s going to turn some poor safety’s ankles to mincemeat with a spin move. I will laugh hysterically with zero sympathy.

5. LSU wins the red-zone battle.

Brent Venables? Y’all scared of Brent Venables? Remember when the best coach who has ever lived—Nick Saban—had his defensive brains bashed in by LSU? 46 points!

We don’t care if Bama’s defense had a down year. Saban had two weeks to scheme up our offense and couldn’t do shit. N O T H I N G.

Venables is going to be another scalp on Joe’s mantle before the night is over. Touchdown, touchdown, touchdown. Take the night off, Cade York.

6. The defense continues to be slighted. They have their best game Monday.

For some reason, the Ole Miss game was the last one any pundit saw LSU’s defense play. Just the second half, really. Every week, it’s “Oh man, this defense could be had! Watch out! LSU’s only weakness!”

Oklahoma, for all its flaws, came in with the second-best offense in the country and the nation’s hottest offensive mind outside of Joe Brady at the helm. They didn’t score anything valuable until it was too late.

LSU was consistently on Jalen Hurts, a Heisman finalist, and stuffing Oklahoma’s potent running attack. That’s the LSU defense we last saw, and that’s the LSU defense we expect to show up Monday.

The pundits are bored.

7. Coach O never has a problem with motivation, or having his team prepared for the limelight. Why would he fail now?

This game has all the components of a team getting over-excited. National championship game. In our backyard. At stake? Becoming arguably the best team that’s every played college football.

If anything, Coach O has shown himself to be a master motivator above all. Both in the locker room and on the recruiting trail. Even during LSU’s losses under Orgeron, motivation and mindset have never, ever been the issue.

This is his most important game. He won’t let us down.

8. This is a team of destiny. Shut up with your worries. It’s our time.

As we’ve reflected on this season, this team’s chemistry and resolve is what we think of first.

Joe Burrow’s calm comments before the season that they would average 40 and 50 points per game. The calm confidence they showed in Tuscaloosa, and how clearly they weren’t satisfied that night when most teams would be. The ease in which they dismantled Georgia and Oklahoma after frankly being over-feted in the national media. None of it fazed them.

They were built for this. So are we. Accept your fate and your secondhand glory.

Geaux Tigers.

Editor’s note: This was done in conjunction with the lovely newsletter, FrontRunner, you should all subscribe to.