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Rating Every Week 12 NFL Game By LSU-Ness

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Damn you Bengals, damn you to hell

NFL: Cincinnati Bengals at Washington Football Team Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

They really fooled us. The Bengals had us all roped in on the bandwagon. And what did they do? They took Joe Burrow, the greatest thing that ever happened to us, and only needed ten games to ruin him.

In all seriousness, our best thoughts and wishes go out to Joe. I was gonna pile on the Bengals, but everyone else is already doing that. Let’s focus on how awesome Joe is instead. The injury sucks, but I don’t think any of us doubt he he’ll come back just fine. He became the best quarterback in the history of college football after a UCF defensive lineman destroyed him, so just imagine how powerful he’ll be after this. Now onto the games of Thanksgiving Week.

TEXANS at LIONS

When: Nov. 26, 11:30 CST on CBS

Former LSU Texans Players: None

Former LSU Lions Players: None

I mean watching the Lions kick off Thanksgiving by losing is a tradition so I know you’re gonna watch this, but there’s no Tigers to look out for.

SCORE: 0/10

WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM at COWBOYS

When: Nov. 26, 3:30 CST on FOX

Former LSU Washington Players: None

Former LSU Cowboys Players: None

Eat your turkey.

SCORE: 0/10

RAVENS at STEELERS

When: Nov. 26, 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Ravens Players: LB Patrick Queen

Former LSU Steelers Players: T Jerald Hawkins

As of the time of writing this game is in legitimate doubt due to several Ravens testing positive for COVID, buuut it’s our only chance to see Tigers on Thanksgiving so hopefully it happens!

SCORE: 4/10

DOLPHINS at JETS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Dolphins Players: LS Blake Ferguson, DT Davon Godchaux (injured)

Former LSU Jets Players: None

Last week the Jets played somewhat competitively. It was very disturbing and I hope we don’t have to deal with anything like that again.

CARDINALS at PATRIOTS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Cardinals Players: CB Patrick Peterson, DE Rashard Lawrence

Former LSU Patriots Players: LB Tashawn Bower

I seriously doubt Cam Newton can still outrun Patrick Peterson.

SCORE: 5/10

PANTHERS at VIKINGS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Panthers Players: CB Donte Jackson

Former LSU Vikings Players: WR Justin Jefferson

With Adam Thielen on the COVID list, Jets is WR1 and has the opportunity to make a serious push for OROY these next two games. If Donte is healthy this is a compelling matchup.

SCORE: 6/10

BROWNS at JAGUARS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Browns Players: WR Jarvis Landry, LB Jacob Phillips, WR Odell Beckham Jr (injured), CB Greedy Williams (injured)

Former LSU Jaguars Players: WR DJ Chark, LB K’Lavon Chaisson

If OBJ wasn’t hurt this game would feature arguably the three best LSU wide receivers of roughly a 10-12 year period. Does anyone wanna argue Brandon LaFell, Demetrius Byrd, Travin Dural or Malachi Dupre were better than Chark? I’m not saying you’re wrong, but the argument is intriguing.

SCORE: 8/10

TITANS at COLTS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Titans Players: CB Kristian Fulton

Former LSU Colts Players: None

We get Kriss back unlike the first time these teams played. Still not super compelling.

SCORE: 2/10

CHARGERS at BILLS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Chargers Players: G Trai Turner

Former LSU Bills Players: CB Tre’Davious White, LS Reid Ferguson

I just realized the Bills had to be on a bye week after losing on a Hail Mary. That’s a brutal thing to sit with for two weeks.

SCORE: 5/10

RAIDERS at FALCONS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Raiders Players: TE Foster Moreau, DE Arden Key

Former LSU Falcons Players: LB Deion Jones, WR Russell Gage

An extremely 2017 LSU collection with a Debo thrown in.

SCORE: 8/10

GIANTS at BENGALS

When: Nov. 29, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Giants Players: None

Former LSU Bengals Players: QB Joe Burrow (goddammit Bengals)

No. Y’all had your chance and you blew it.

SCORE: -46,892/10

49ERS at RAMS

When: Nov. 29, 3:05 CST on FOX

Former LSU 49ers Players: None

Former LSU Rams Players: DT Michael Brockers, T Andrew Whitworth (injured)

Remember how I said it felt like NFC East teams played each other every week? The NFC West is starting to do that.

SCORE: 2/10

SAINTS at BRONCOS

When: Nov. 29, 3:05 CST on FOX

Former LSU Saints Players: LB Kwon Alexander, C Will Clapp

Former LSU Broncos Players: C Lloyd Cushenberry

Kwon isn’t just starting for the Saints, he is transforming the unit. They look like the best defense in the NFC ever since he arrived. Lloyd will have his hands full with a defense that just sacked Matt Ryan 8 times.

SCORE: 5/10

CHIEFS at BUCCANEERS

When: Nov. 29, 3:25 CST on CBS

Former LSU Chiefs Players: RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB Darrell Williams, S Tyrann Mathieu

Former LSU Bucs Players: LB Devin White, RB Leonard Fournette, LB Kevin Minter

HELL YEAH

SCORE: 10/10

BEARS at PACKERS

When: Nov. 29, 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Bears Players: LB Barkevious Mingo

Former LSU Packers Players: None

STOP PUTTING THE BEARS IN PRIMETIME!!! WHY DOES THIS HORRIBLE OFFENSE HAVE SO MANY PRIMETIME GAMES???? GOOD GOD MAN

SCORE: 1/10