Rating Every Week 9 NFL Game by LSU-Ness

With no LSU Football game this weekend along with what should be a slow news week without many major news events, it’s a great time to catch up on all of the LSU Tigers in the NFL! Let’s get into a... scant Week 9.

PACKERS at 49ERS

When: Nov. 5, 7:20 CST on FOX/NFLN/Amazon Prime

Former LSU Packers Players: None

Former LSU 49ers Players: None

Are you confused because you swore the Niners had at least one LSU player? Stay tuned.... but not for this game.

SCORE: 0/10

GIANTS at WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Giants Players: None

Former LSU Washington Players: T Saahdiq Charles (injured)

Don’t watch the NFC East.

SCORE: 0/10

BEARS at TITANS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bears Players: LB Barkevious Mingo

Former LSU Titans Players: CB Kristian Fulton (injured)

Being injured, Kristian can relax since he doesn’t have to worry about being punched by Javon Wims.

SCORE: 3/10

LIONS at VIKINGS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Lions Players: None

Former LSU Vikings Players: DE Danielle Hunter (injured—out for year), WR Justin Jefferson

While I do appreciate NFL teams trying to win by old-school football, the Vikings’ upset win of the Packers succeeded because of a Dalvin Cook-only gameplan. You drafted Justin freakin’ Jefferson in the first round! Use him!

SCORE: 5/10

PANTHERS at CHIEFS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Panthers Players: CB Donte Jackson

Former LSU Chiefs Players: RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB Darrell Williams, S Tyrann Mathieu

Andy Reid recently said he’s no longer a fan of QB sneaks on 4th and 1 after Mahomes was injured on one last year, so it looks like Darrell Williams will have a very specific role moving forward!

But also, this is Tyrann Mathieu going against Joe Brady’s offense. Yes PLEASE.

SCORE: 9/10

TEXANS at JAGUARS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Texans Players: None

Former LSU Jaguars Players: WR DJ Chark, LB K’Lavon Chaisson

Not much to say about this game here except Congrats DJ!!!

SCORE: 5/10

RAVENS at COLTS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Ravens Players: LB Patrick Queen*

Former LSU Colts Players: None

Queen was placed on the COVID list after coming into contact with Marlon Humphrey who did test positive, but PQ will be able to play Sunday IF he tests negative all week.

He’s been a goddamn monster, but this obviously reverts to 0 if he doesn’t play.

SCORE: 3/10

SEAHAWKS at BILLS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Seahawks Players: S Jamal Adams, G Damien Lewis, C Ethan Pocic

Former LSU Bills Players: CB Tre’Davious White, LS Reid Ferguson

Pete Carroll said he expects Adams to be back this week, so this is a great one!

SCORE: 8/10

BRONCOS at FALCONS

When: Nov. 8, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Broncos Players: C Lloyd Cushenberry

Former LSU Falcons Players: LB Deion Jones, WR Russell Gage

This is a Super Bowl rematch of the last game John Elway played and I’m bringing that up because I’m still in shock that a guy in my mentions Monday night said John Elway was the fourth best quarterback in NFL history. What the actual hell

SCORE: 4/10

RAIDERS at CHARGERS

When: Nov. 8, 3:05 CST on FOX

Former LSU Raiders Players: TE Foster Moreau, DE Arden Key

Former LSU Chargers Players: G Trai Turner

If this sort of thing matters to you, Justin Herbert is the biggest obstacle to Burrow winning Rookie of the Year. I personally enjoy seeing young QBs thrive in the NFL, but if you want to root for him to struggle so Burrow can win every award, you have the right to do that!

SCORE: 4/10

DOLPHINS at CARDINALS

When: Nov. 8, 3:25 CST on CBS

Former LSU Dolphins Players: LS Blake Ferguson

Former LSU Cardinals Players: CB Patrick Peterson, DE Rashard Lawrence

I’m truly sorry to everyone who doesn’t have Sunday Ticket and has to watch Steelers-Cowboys instead of this. My heart is with you.

SCORE: 5/10

STEELERS at COWBOYS

When: Nov. 8, 3:25 CST on CBS

Former LSU Steelers Players: T Jerald Hawkins

Former LSU Cowboys Players: None

Oh god no. Not in any way.

SCORE: 1/10

SAINTS at BUCCANEERS

When: Nov. 8, 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Saints Players: LB Kwon Alexander* C Will Clapp

Former LSU Bucs Players: LB Devin White, RB Leonard Fournette, LB Kevin Minter

BOOM! The Saints now have an LSU player STARTING on DEFENSE!... well he probably won’t be eligible for this game. But if he is get ready for an LSU linebacker duel!

SCORE: 9/10

PATRIOTS at JETS

When: Nov. 9, 7:15 CST on ESPN

Former LSU Patriots Players: LB Tashawn Bower

Former LSU Jets Players: None

Tashawn Bower was active for the Patriots these last two weeks and I totally missed it! Sorry y’all, he will now be recognized.

But still please don’t watch this shit.

SCORE: 1/10