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Rating Every Week 15 NFL Game By LSU-Ness

The only LSU Football we’ll have after Saturday

Atlanta Falcons v Los Angeles Chargers Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images

LSU’s football season comes to a close this Saturday, but some of our proudest alumni still have greater aspirations ahead. Let’s dive into what NFLSU has in store for us this weekend.

CHARGERS at RAIDERS

When: Dec. 17, 7:20 CST on FOX/NFL Network/Amazon Prime

Former LSU Chargers Players: G Trai Turner, DE Breiden Fehoko

Former LSU Raiders Players: TE Foster Moreau, DE Arden Key

Remember how I said last week Falcons vs Chargers was destined to have a stupid ending? Look at what the NFL hath wrought:

Perfection. This game will be alright.

SCORE: 5/10

BILLS at BRONCOS

When: Dec. 19, 3:30 CST on NFL Network

Former LSU Bills Players: CB Tre’Davious White, LS Reid Ferguson

Former LSU Broncos Players: C Lloyd Cushenberry

Yeah so this has three cool players but it’s also being played uhhhhh during the LSU-Ole Miss game sooooooo I can’t award it any points sorry not sorry.

SCORE: 0/10 (GTHOM)

PANTHERS at PACKERS

When: Dec. 19, 7:15 CST on NFL Network

Former LSU Panthers Players: CB Donte Jackson

Former LSU Packers Players: None

The Packers have been way too good with many deserving prime time slots, so it’s really a shame they don’t have ONE Tiger on the roster. They’re been a popular landing spot for Terrace Marshall in several mock drafts, but for now they’re bringing nothing to the table.

SCORE: 0/10

49ERS at COWBOYS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU 49ers Players: None

Former LSU Cowboys Players: None

This was originally the Sunday Night game. Credit to the NFL (swallows barf) for flexing it out, something I’m legitimately surprised they did with the pedigree and ratings boosters these teams are, even if they’re trash this year. We’re better people because we don’t have to watch this.

SCORE: 0/10

SEAHAWKS at WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Seahawks Players: S Jamal Adams, G Damien Lewis, C Ethan Pocic

Former LSU Washington Players: None

Despite only playing in nine games, Jamal Adams broke the NFL record for sacks in a single season by a DB last Sunday with 8.5. He is indeed still Jamal Adams.

SCORE: 4/10

BEARS at VIKINGS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bears Players: LB Barkevious Mingo

Former LSU Vikings Players: WR Justin Jefferson

Justin Jefferson is so good Kirk Cousins might actually play out that entire contract in Minnesota. Incredible.

SCORE: 5/10

PATRIOTS at DOLPHINS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Patriots Players: LB Tashawn Bower

Former LSU Dolphins Players: LS Blake Ferguson

These would the starting QBs if there was an all-time Iron Bowl game. So I don’t know why you’d be interested as an LSU fan.

SCORE: 2/10

JAGUARS at RAVENS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Jaguars Players: WR DJ Chark, LB K’Lavon Chaisson

Former LSU Ravens Players: LB Patrick Queen

I cannot wait for DJ Chark to have Trevor Lawrence or Justin Fields throwing him passes instead of... oh hey Minshew is back this week. Guess the Jags won’t be getting either of those guys!

SCORE: 5/10

BUCCANEERS at FALCONS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bucs Players: LB Devin White, RB Leonard Fournette, LB Kevin Minter

Former LSU Falcons Players: LB Deion Jones, WR Russell Gage

Sure the Falcons Falcon’d again, but Russell Gage has established himself as the best LSU QB in the NFL now that Burrow is hurt!

An Alabama player catching a pass from an LSU QB? Been more than two years since that’s happened.

LIONS at TITANS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Lions Players: None

Former LSU Titans Players: CB Kristian Fulton

Woof, now that all the bye weeks are done I have a whole lot of these games to do.

SCORE: 2/10

TEXANS at COLTS

When: Dec. 20, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Texans Players: None

Former LSU Colts Players: None

Skip.

SCORE: 0/10

EAGLES at CARDINALS

When: Dec. 20, 3:05 CST on FOX

Former LSU Eagles Players: S Jalen Mills, LB Duke Riley

Former LSU Cardinals Players: CB Patrick Peterson, DE Rashard Lawrence

I guess Louisiana teams can only beat Jalen Hurts in the postseason.

SCORE: 7/10

JETS at RAMS

When: Dec. 20, 3:05 CST on FOX

Former LSU Jets Players: None

Former LSU Rams Players: DT Michael Brockers

If you’re watching this it’s just to see if the Jets can complete the race to 0-16.

SCORE: 2/10

CHIEFS at SAINTS

When: Dec. 20, 3:25 CST on CBS

Former LSU Chiefs Players: RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB Darrell Williams, S Tyrann Mathieu

Former LSU Saints Players: LB Kwon Alexander, C Will Clapp

I have a tough time not recommending you watch this should-be-very-good-football game, but five LSU players? Hell yeah dude. Watch this shit.

SCORE: 9/10

BROWNS at GIANTS

When: Dec. 20, 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Browns Players: WR Jarvis Landry, LB Jacob Phillips

Former LSU Giants Players: None

The Browns are being moved INTO a prime time slot against a 5-8 team? I unironically love this.

SCORE: 5/10

STEELERS at BENGALS

When: Dec. 21, 7:15 CST on ESPN

Former LSU Steelers Players: T Jerald Hawkins

Former LSU Bengals Players: :(

Remember last week when I said good Monday Night Football games were back? Yeah me neither.

SCORE: 1/10