The LSU men’s basketball team is squarely in the conversation for making the NCAA Tournament and right in the mix for a second straight SEC Title. Sounds like a fun team, right?
This objectively good team has found a way to make every game an anxiety-inducing nightmare for fans. LSU takes what should be a routine second half, final two minutes, or entire games and dumps it into a barrel of gasoline while dangling a lit match on the edge of their bottom lip.
Most of the time this year it’s worked out! Other times (like the past week where LSU went 0-2 despite scoring 90 points on the road twice) we end up on fire! Either way, once tonight’s game is over you may need some things to hold you over until the next game on Saturday. So here are 14 things almost as stressful than an LSU men’s basketball game.
-Betting the under on a Big 12 football game
Why would you do this?
-Letting your small child play with scissors and knives
Like an LSU basketball game, you can’t look away for a single second because it could all fall apart instantly.
i just laughed for 15 minutes straight pic.twitter.com/zAMgWglksE— madison meyers (@madmeyers) September 17, 2017
-Driving without your glasses or contacts
Almost every LSU game has a stretch of six or so minutes where the team does nothing but brick three-points attempts, and I sometimes wonder if they lost their contacts.
-Doing your homework as the teacher is coming around to collect it
An adrenaline rush like no other. When it fails, it’s mortifying, especially if your teacher is the type to make an example in front of the whole class. But when you succeed? It feels a little like this.
-Robbing a bank
I’m a sucker for a good bank robbery movie. Heat, Point Break, The Town, the opening scene of The Dark Knight, all bangers. These movies are also similar to LSU basketball because in two of them our heroes escape the relentless pursuit of the FBI.
-Climbing the tallest building in the world using only adhesive gloves
While Tom Cruise has seen an LSU football game, I’m not sure if he’s ever seen an LSU men’s basketball game. However, if he had to guess which was more stressful, he’d probably pick watching the Tigers. He didn’t seem that stressed on the Burj Khalifa.
-Illegally parking in a Baton Rouge parking lot under Riverside Towing’s jurisdiction
-Buying tickets to an LSU baseball game in May and not bringing a rain jacket
I don’t care what the forecast says, there’s always a 40 percent chance minimum.
Also happy baseball week, everyone!
-Setting up a domino pyramid
Whether you’re living on a fault line, next to an elevated train, or just have shaky hands, plenty of things can ruin your project before you even get to test it out. It can make for great schadenfreude, though.
-Watching Uncut Gems
I’ll admit, I still haven’t seen it. Maybe I’ll do a double feature with Sonic the Hedgehog for Valentine’s Day.
-Looking for a job in journalism
-Making a debit card purchase that might go over your bank account
As a college student, I know this life all too well.
-Getting called into your boss’ office with no explanation
The worst is when they start monologuing before they really tell you why you’re there. Tell me if I am being fired or promoted! Stop speaking in parables!
-Watching LSU play a football game in 2019
They won all of them. Wasn’t stressful at all!