Rating Every Week 1 NFL Game by LSU-Ness

Believe it or not, there is actual NFL football on TV tonight. It’s gonna be really weird watching two whole weeks of NFL before LSU kicks its season off, but it’s better than nothing.

With 43 former Tigers spread across the 32 teams, it gets hard to track who is where now. Each week we will go through every NFL matchup with a handy guide telling you which Tigers are on each team* and scoring the games based on the number of former LSU players participating and how exciting those players are.

*Not including practice squad guys since you obviously won’t see them play

TEXANS at CHIEFS

When: Sept. 10, 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Texans Players: None

Former LSU Chiefs Players: RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB Darrell Williams, S Tyrann Mathieu

The Chiefs more than make up for the Texans’ empty showing. Damien Williams, last year’s starter in Kansas City, has opted out of this season, meaning almost every time the reigning Super Bowl MVP hands the ball off it will be to an LSU Tiger. Three former Tigers isn’t a lot, but these three cover the three best types of former players:

-a beloved rookie from last year’s championship squad

-an underappreciated workhorse that hardcore fans will always appreciate

-a show-stopping star who has now perfected his craft and is performing at a superstar level.

Geaux Chiefs.

SCORE: 8/10

EAGLES at WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM:

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Eagles Players: S Jalen Mills, LB Duke Riley

Former LSU Washington Players: T Saahdiq Charles

Three neat guys, but not heavy enough contributors to make this super engrossing. There will be much better games in this time slot.

Note that Thaddeus Moss is on Washington’s roster, but is currently on injured reserve.

SCORE: 4/10

DOLPHINS at PATRIOTS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Dolphins Players: DT Davon Godchaux, LS Blake Ferguson

Former LSU Patriots Players: DE Tashawn Bower

The fact that Miami drafted Blake Ferguson puts this a whole point higher than it would’ve been if he was just an UDFA signing.

SCORE: 4/10

PACKERS at VIKINGS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Packers Players: None

Former LSU Vikings Players: DE Danielle Hunter, WR Justin Jefferson

Only two players, but they are serious difference-makers.

Ugh..... Skol.

*vomits*

SCORE: 6/10

COLTS at JAGUARS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Colts Players: None

Former LSU Jaguars Players: WR DJ Chark, LB K’Lavon Chaisson

Did y’all know DJ Chark was second among AFC WRs in TD catches last year? Good for him! It’s too bad the Jags went and cut Leonard Fournette last week, because they had a real nice trifecta of former Tigers going. Crazy how far they’re going to tank for the QB who completed 48.6% of his passes in the National Championship last year.

SCORE: 6/10

BEARS at LIONS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bears Players: LB Barkevious Mingo

Former LSU Lions Players: None

While Barkevious didn’t pan out the way you’d want a No. 6 overall pick to, it’s real nice to see him still in the league eight years later, even it is with his sixth team.

Still... please don’t watch this game.

SCORE: 2/10

RAIDERS at PANTHERS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Raiders Players: TE Foster Moreau, DE Arden Key

Former LSU Panthers Players: CB Donte Jackson

Again only three players, but some fun ones! Jon Gruden went out and signed senior citizen Jason Witten this year. I guess he can serve as a mentor for Moreau, but that still probably means fewer snaps for the former No. 18.

SCORE: 7/10

JETS at BILLS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Jets Players: None

Former LSU Bills Players: CB Tre’Davious White, LS Reid Ferguson

Only two guys, but two starters at that!

SCORE: 4/10

BROWNS at RAVENS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Browns Players: WR Odell Beckham Jr, WR Jarvis Landry, CB Greedy Williams, LB Jacob Phillips

Former LSU Ravens Players: LB Patrick Queen

Losing Grant Delpit to a torn Achilles sucks real bad, and keeps this from being a 10. Despite that, every Brows game this year will be at LEAST a 6. That plus Patrick Queen’s debut makes this one strong. If you only want to watch NFL games prominently featuring former LSU players, this is a solid pick.

SCORE: 9/10

SEAHAWKS at FALCONS

When: Sept. 13, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Seahawks Players: S Jamal Adams, G Damien Lewis, C Ethan Pocic

Former LSU Falcons Players: LB Deion Jones, WR Russell Gage

I thought Browns-Ravens would be the runaway pick for the early slate, but this one gives it a run for its money. Seattle plans to start two Tigers right next to each other on the O-line, and is banking the future of its defense on fan favorite Jamal Adams. While the Falcons aren’t as loaded with Tigers as they used to be, Deion Jones is the centerpiece of that defense and Russell Gage has worked his way up from special teamer to WR3. This will be a fun one for LSU fans.

SCORE: 8/10

CHARGERS at BENGALS

When: Sept. 13, 3:05 CST on CBS

Former LSU Chargers Players: G Trai Turner

Former LSU Bengals Players: QB Joe Burrow

The game we’ve all been waiting for... Trai Turner’s Chargers debut!

Let’s be honest, if you’re watching the NFL strictly for LSU purposes you’re gonna be watching this game. If every Browns game is an automatic 6, Bengals games are an automatic 8. If Burrow plays better than people expect they’ll be automatic 10s.

I promise this is the only time I will bring up my Saints fandom in this weekly series.

I am so mad this is at 3:05 and not noon because I have to miss Joe Burrow’s debut to watch my stupid favorite NFL team. I probably deserve this.

SCORE: 10/10

CARDINALS at 49ERS

When: Sept. 13, 3:25 CST on FOX

Former LSU Cardinals Players: CB Patrick Peterson, DE Rashard Lawrence

Former LSU 49ers Players: LB Kwon Alexander

Three fun guys! They’re all on defense meaning they might not get a chance to make any significant plays, but come one... we all love these guys.

SCORE: 5/10

BUCCANEERS at SAINTS

When: Sept. 13, 3:25 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bucs Players: LB Devin White, RB Leonard Fournette, LB Kevin Minter

Former LSU Saints Players: C Will Clapp

Leonard Fournette back in New Orleans is an interesting enough storyline. I bet Bucs fans are excited to have him. It’s been a long time since that team signed any real exciting players in free agency.

SCORE: 6/10

COWBOYS at RAMS

When: Sept. 13, 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Cowboys Players: T La’el Collins

Former LSU Rams Players: DT Michael Brockers, T Andrew Whitworth

If you haven’t been following the NFL, no that’s not a typo. Andrew Whitworth is in fact still playing professional football. I bet he truly loves the sport to still be playing it after all these years

SCORE: We’re all gonna die/10

STEELERS at GIANTS:

When: Sept. 14, 6:10 CST on ESPN

Former LSU Steelers Players: None

Former LSU Giants Players: None

WELP

SCORE: 0/10

TITANS at BRONCOS

When: Sept. 14, 9:20 CST on ESPN

Former LSU Titans Players: CB Kristian Fulton

Former LSU Broncos Players: C Lloyd Cushenberry

Not a lot here, but rookies making their debuts always makes things a little more compelling to me. Denver officially named Cushenberry the starting center, and Fulton should rotate in. It’s better than the early MNF game, that’s for sure.

So that should conclude our round-up of former Tigers. If I missed any, please let me know in the comments so I can correct the story. There are a lot of these guys out there.