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How To Football: Week 4

Your guide to the SEC’s return to football

As you’re probably acutely aware, the SEC returns this weekend. While that does upgrade the schedule quality somewhat, the actual conference matchups aren’t exactly blockbuster games. But still, the SEC is back and that shouldn’t harsh your mellow. Sound the siren, y’all.

Note: schedule as of 2:30 Tuesday
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Yellowhammer Shift

  • UAB-South Alabama: I get that it’s not a sexy matchup, but this should be a pretty decent game for a Thursday night game in 2020. We know about the great job Bill Clark has done with the Blazers, but Steve Campbell’s Jaguars are a 14-point fourth quarter collapse away from a convincing win over Tulane and a 2-0 mark.

Socially Distanced In San Antonio Shift

  • Middle Tennessee State-UTSA: Another game that looks sleepy because it lacks living room name recognition but might be a pretty decent contest. Like I’ve said in previous weeks, in 2020 you’ve gotta take what you can.

The Promise Shift

  • Florida-Ole Miss: The Lane Train arrives in Oxford at 11 AM sharp, and Vaught Hemingway will be draped in powder blue to celebrate. I don’t think the Kiffin era will start off with a win, but it’ll be fun to watch what Ole Miss has for Florida.
  • Kentucky-Auburn: So Bo Nix wasn’t great as a freshman, which is fine because he’s a freshman. But if he hasn’t progressed much then this game could very easily go south for Auburn. I’m not saying, but I am saying...
  • llvll-Pitt: It’s rare to say, but llvll won’t be wearing the worst uniforms in this game. As for the actual game, it’ll be a pretty good one with the Panthers sitting at about a three-point favorite.
  • Georgia Southern-ULL: Would you like to see a ranked ULL faceplant live on national television? Well then I potentially have good news for you!
  • Georgia Tech-Syracuse: Georgia Tech is trending in the right direction, but they’re still a bad team. However, I don’t think they’re quite as bad as Syracuse is right now. I could be wrong, though.
  • Iowa State-TCU: After losing to ULL, Iowa State did the right thing and sat out last week to wash the shame off them. This week they return to action and Brock Purdy’s boys get to face...TCU and Gary Patterson’s defense that’s designed to specifically stop the kind of offense Iowa State runs.

Uncanny Valley Shift

  • Mississippi State-LSU: Well you’re reading an LSU blog so I assume you’re very interested in this game.
  • West Virginia-Oklahoma State: OSU barely escaped the Tulsa game with a win, so we’ll see how they bounce back against a WVU team that firmly occupies the same space as the pokes.
  • Army-Cincinnati: PodKATT said I won’t get paid if I didn’t include this.
  • Texas-Tech Tech: Texas will win and then we’ll get some “TEXAS IS BACK” takes after they beat down on UTEP and a bad Texas Tech. Can’t wait.
  • Tulsa-Arkansas State: Should be a pretty good game, with the Red Wolves favored by about a field goal.

Florida Man Shift

  • Florida State-Miami (FL): D’Eriq King and Miami torched llvll last week, meaning they’re 2-0 and a win against an in-state school away from being allegedly back. On the flip side, Florida State took last week off after losing Mike Norvell’s first game in charge of the Seminoles to Georgia Tech, which he promptly contracted COVID-19 after. I’d like to say that you throw out all outside factors in a rivalry game like this, but I think that creates too big of a gulf to make up from.
  • NC State-Virginia Tech: The Wolfpack used a 10-point fourth quarter to narrowly defeat Wake Forest 45-42 last week and now draw ranked Virginia Tech, who have yet to play. The Justin Fuente era has not gone according to plan. I don’t think many coaches are going to end up getting fired this year because of well...everything, but he really needs to start this season off on the right foot.
  • Tennessee-South Carolina: After getting punked in September last year, Jeremy Pruitt did put Tennessee on the right track last year. It’ll be interesting to see how he continues to follow up that success as he tries to close the massive gulf between Tennessee and Florida/Georgia in the East.
  • Alabama-Missouri: Look, I gotta fill out the spreadsheet somehow.
  • Vanderbilt-Texas A&M: ...and sometimes that’s easier said than done.

Mormons After Dark Shift

  • Troy-BYU: With the PAC-12 and Mountain West cancelled for the season, I’m just glad to have some football game kicking off at 9:15 p.m. in God’s Time Zone. I won’t be picky about what it is.