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Rating Every Week 3 NFL Game by LSU-Ness

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One of these days the Bengals will win... I think

Houston Texans v Kansas City Chiefs Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images

We’re two weeks in to the NFL season! I know we all have our sights set on an actual, real life, LSU Fighting Tiger football game this Saturday, but there are still countless Tigers in the Pros to keep track of. Let’s take a look at the best matchups this weekend.

DOLPHINS at JAGUARS

When: Sept. 24, 7:20 CST on NFL Network

Former LSU Dolphins Players: DT Davon Godchaux, LS Blake Ferguson

Former LSU Jaguars Players: WR DJ Chark, LB K’Lavon Chaisson

Chark and Chaisson have both been heavy contributors to a Jaguars team looking much more competitive than most expected. Most of their games should score fairly high despite only two players.

As for the Dolphins, the combined power of both Fergusons on the field had to be the cause of a stadium blackout that caused fans to miss almost a whole quarter of Bills-Dolphins. Expect him to long snap just as efficiently on Thursday night.

SCORE: 7/10

BENGALS at EAGLES

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Bengals Players: QB Joe Burrow

Former LSU Eagles Players: S Jalen Mills, LB Duke Riley

Boy... the Bengals really SUCK don’t they? Honestly the fact that Joe Burrow looks that good in spite of his team shows just what a monstrous talent he really is. Please get that fucking O-line fixed, Cincy.

SCORE: 9/1O

TEXANS at STEELERS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Texans Players: None

Former LSU Steelers Players: None

Nah.

SCORE: 0/10

49ers at GIANTS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU 49ers Players: LB Kwon Alexander

Former LSU Giants Players: None

If you wanna watch just for Kwon, make sure you tune in at the start before the rest of the Niners are inevitably injured.

SCORE: 2/10

RAIDERS at PATRIOTS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Raiders Players: TE Foster Moreau, DE Arden Key

Former LSU Patriots Players: None

Remember last week when I talked about how epic a Jamal Adams LSU vs a Cam Newton Auburn would be? Well that game Sunday night sure did live up to the hype! As for the LSU side of this game, it seems like the Raiders are starting to realize that Jason Witten is, ya know, an old ass man, which should mean more playing time for Foster Moreau in the coming weeks. Still, not too much from this game.

SCORE: 4/10

TITANS at VIKINGS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on CBS

Former LSU Titans Players: CB Kristian Fulton

Former LSU Vikings Players: DE Danielle Hunter, WR Justin Jefferson

This is the first time this year the Vikings will play another team with LSU players. You’d think that means things are going good for the Vikings, but they are definitely not! But Justin Jefferson is averaging 14 yards per catch and Danielle Hunter is still Danielle Hunter so it’s all good for us!

SCORE: 7/10

WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM at BROWNS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Washington Players: T Saahdiq Charles

Former LSU Browns Players: WR Odell Beckham Jr, WR Jarvis Landry, CB Greedy Williams, LB Jacob Phillips

God isn’t it so fun to watch Odell Beckham Jr. thrive on the football field? It’s so damn fun. I hope we see more of that on Sunday.

SCORE: 8/10

RAMS at BILLS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Rams Players: DT Michael Brockers, T Andrew Whitworth

Former LSU Bills Players: CB Tre’Davious White, LS Reid Ferguson

There are only two matchups between two 2-0 teams this weekend. This is one of them. Also there are four former LSU players starting so it makes a compelling case!

SCORE: 8/10

BEARS at FALCONS

When: Sept. 27, 12:00 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bears Players: LB Barkevious Mingo

Former LSU Falcons Players: LB Deion Jones, WR Russell Gage

It got buried by the inevitable Falconry in the fourth quarter, but Russell Gage threw a perfect 40-yard touchdown strike that went right off the hands of Alabama alumnus and inferior wide receiver Julio Jones. Do LSU Tigers have to do EVERYTHING???

SCORE: 4/10

PANTHERS at CHARGERS

When: Sept. 27, 3:05 CST on FOX

Former LSU Panthers Players: CB Donte Jackson

Former LSU Chargers Players: G Trai Turner

Donte Jackson was able to snag an interception off whoever the Bucs have playing at QB now, but then also fell victim to the Totally-Not-A-Pushoff by Mike Evans. That’s life in the NFC South.

SCORE: 3/10

JETS at COLTS

When: Sept. 27, 3:05 CST on CBS

Former LSU Jets Players: None

Former LSU Colts Players: None

Yuck!

SCORE: 0/10

COWBOYS at SEAHAWKS

When: 3:25 CST on FOX

Former LSU Cowboys Players: T La’el Collins (injured)

Former LSU Seahawks Players: S Jamal Adams, G Damien Lewis, C Ethan Pocic

I’m not a tape-grinder and have only really watched the NFL this year through RedZone, but if you ask me which former LSU Tiger is playing the best right now I think it’s a three-way tie between Jamal Adams, Tre’Davious White, and Tyrann Mathieu. This tie might be easily broken with some All-22 film or some PFF ratings, but I don’t care enough to put in that much work. Either way, the DBU moniker is sure in full effect.

SCORE: 6/10

BUCCANEERS at BRONCOS

When: 3:25 CST on FOX

Former LSU Bucs Players: LB Devin White, RB Leonard Fournette, LB Kevin Minter

Former LSU Broncos Players: C Lloyd Cushenberry

We got to see some vintage Leonard Fournette last Sunday! Wasn’t that fun? God that’s fun. Also the Broncos’ starting quarterback is Jeff Driskel, so... yeah this game will have some major throwback vibes.

SCORE: 8/10

LIONS at CARDINALS

When: 3:25 CST on FOX

Former LSU Lions Players: None

Former LSU Cardinals Players: CB Patrick Peterson, DE Rashard Lawrence

I made fun of Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins last week, but I so desperately want to watch every one of their games. Patrick and Rashard also rule, so this ranking is maybe a little higher than what it deserves.

SCORE: 5/10

PACKERS at SAINTSS

When: 7:20 CST on NBC

Former LSU Packers Players: None

Former LSU Saints Players: C Will Clapp

I am convinced the Saints only drafted Will Clapp so people would shut up about the Saints not having any LSU players. It apparently didn’t work.

SCORE: 1/10

CHIEFS at RAVENS

Former LSU Chiefs Players: RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, RB Darrell Williams, S Tyrann Mathieu

Former LSU Ravens Players: LB Patrick Queen

God yes. Yes yes yes. On every single level... YES!

SCORE: 10/10