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How To Football: Week 7

Lane Kiffin returns to Tennessee, I’m sure that will go over well.

Syndication: Knoxville News Sentinel Archive, Knoxville News Sentinel via Imagn Content Services, LLC
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Monochrome Shift

  • Clemson-Syracuse: I’m not saying it won’t happen...okay maybe I am.
  • Marshall-North Texas: Doc Holliday’s boys are likely to break one off.
  • Colgate-Cornell: Hell yeah, Ivy League Friday night football.

Sans of Time Shift

  • Cal-Oregon: The Ducks take the field for the first time since their upset loss to Stanford and now reel in the other Bay Area school. But this one is...on even shakier ground than the Cardinal, limping into Friday night at 1-4 after scoring just six points against Washington State.
  • Montana State-Weber: The trend of really great FCS games getting air time on one of the big ESPN channel continues.
  • San Diego State-San Jose State: Know your SXSUs: D good, J not as good.

Dayball of Hate Shift

  • Florida-LSU: Please make it quick and painless.
  • Auburn-Arkansas: After two brutal losses in a row to an obviously superior Georgia team and an Ole Miss team that was just barely faster in a track meet, the Hogs have to deal with Auburn’s all Bonix Bullshit offense.
  • Oklahoma State-Texas: We all saw what happened to Texas last week and against Arkansas, but the REAL surprise here is that Oklahoma State is undefeated. No really, it’s true. Go Google it for yourself. It’s a thing.
  • Nebraska-Minnesota: SP+ is calling this one a defacto tossup, which means the Cornhuskers are going to lose in some heartbreaking fashion.
  • UCF-Cincinnati: If the Bearcats are going to crash the party they have to pass this test, which while UCF is “down” they still are a pretty big hurdle to clear.

All Comes Down Shift

  • Kentucky-Georgia: I have the utmost respect for what Mark Stoops has done at Kentucky. He thoroughly kicked LSU’s ass and deserves his roses. But no.
  • Miami (FL)-North Carolina: So here is our theme this week: Unsexy matchups that are sleeper BANGERS. Like nobody really wants to see Miami and North Carolina slug it out in a narrative sense, but in a vacuum this game should be great.
  • BYU-Baylor: Same applies here, although both teams are little more...competent.
  • Purdue-Iowa: Iowa is going to python Purdue to death. It will be terrible and unwatchable but extremely methodical.
  • Pitt-Virginia Tech: So remember when I said that Justin Fuente was in the process of turning Virginia Tech back around? Yeah he’s back on the hotseat bigly and needs this one.

Rocky Top Full Tilt Shift

  • UCLA-Washington: Should be a pretty fun game! I’m not exactly sure what Washington is at the moment but these are the types of games Jimmy Lake is supposed to make his hay on.
  • Ole Miss-Tennessee: Hoo boy. Strap in for this one, it’s going to be a wild ride, I can feel it. Oh and also apparently it’s Lane Kiffin’s homecoming or something?
  • TCU-Oklahoma: So TCU is in the process of cratering, but there is quarterback intrigue galore in Norman. I expect the Sooners to roll but I want to see how Caleb Williams manages a game and how Spencer Rattler reacts one way or another.
  • Iowa State-Kansas State: [extremely Mortal Kombat voice] FARMAGEDDON!!!!
  • NC State-Boston College: Another sleeper hit, be prepared for the college football internet to yell at you to flip over to this game at the end of the night.

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

  • Arizona State-Utah: I would say that this fits the unsexy sleeper theme but honestly, the Sun Devils are good, y’all. They’re currently on pace to play in the PAC-12 Championship game, for whatever that actually means.
  • Air Force-Boise State: I’m less sure of this one, but SP+ is calling this a virtual toss-up and from what I’ve seen about Boise, they do appear to be somewhat off the mark from their usual selves. But I don’t know if it’s far enough off to let Air Force hang around with them.
  • Hawaii-Nevada: The ‘Bows are stateside for the night meaning we get our special island boys on the big teevee!
  • Louisiana Tech-UTEP: Hopefully you still have your Oklahoma State tab from earlier open because you should definitely Google UTEP’s record. Pay no mind to the teams they have played.