I Wish Mommy And Daddy Would Stop Fighting Shift
- Oklahoma-Baylor: Two coaches that have been heavily linked to the LSU job meet in an important game in the Big 12 race. Oklahoma’s defense has been MIGHTY suspect but I don’t think that’s where the upset would come from. I think Aranda is capable of drawing up something on defense that will give Caleb Williams and the Sooners FITS.
- Michigan-Penn State: Are both of these teams good? Yeah, both teams are good. Is either team great? Hell no. Both programs are just treading water, with Michigan still somehow in a position where they can still feasibly punch a ticket to Indianapolis. As for the game, it should be really good given how evenly matched both teams are.
- Mississippi State-Auburn: Y’all wanna get rip drunk and go light some illegal fireworks? Watch this game.
- UCF-SMU: Here it is, your G5 banger of the week.
- West Virginia-Kansas State: It’s football.
- Georgia-Tennessee: Yeah so uh...Tennessee can chuck the ball around the yard and if one or two of those punches land...Georgia isn’t built for a track meet and I think this the one team that could give them that — oh wait no sorry, I just saw that Tennessee is wearing all black uniforms. Georgia by 28.
- Maryland-Michigan State: For a brief moment in time, this game looked like it might be good, and then Maryland absolutely imploded. This still might be a game but I’m not exactly enthused about it.
- Purdue-Ohio State: I would live a good Purdoing, but I think we’re too late in the season for Ohio State to be falling for Brohm’s shenanigans. But we can hope though.
- Miami (FL)-Florida State: Like Maryland-Michigan State, the expectations for this game shifted a little bit with the Seminoles showing some signs of life and improvement while the Hurricanes have started to circle the drain a bit.
- Minnesota-Iowa: This shift has grown tiresome. Goodbye.
DAS BOOT Shift
- Arkansas-LSU: das boot, das boot, Das Boot, Das Boot, DAS BOOT, DAS BOOT DAS BOOT, DAS BOO-
- Texas A&M-Ole Miss: It’ll be a pretty good game! I have nothing snarky to say! Styles make good matchups and these are two diametrically opposed teams! I’ll DVR it for sure.
- NC State-Wake Forest: SP+ is calling this an actual tossup, which is good enough for me.
- Notre Dame-Virginia: As it stands, Notre Dame is something we have to consider when it comes time for playoffs since their only loss is to Cincinnati. I think that might change Saturday night; these aren’t your older brother’s Cavaliers we’re playing with here.
- TCU-Oklahoma State: I fear no god or man other than Zombie TCU, and so should you.
Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift
- Washington State-Oregon: Oregon should coast here, but I’m hesitant since the Stanford game. Trust but verify.
- Nevada-San Diego State: The rare G5 game featuring two Draft Day Two guys, made even rarer by the fact that one of them is a punter. Carson Strong is probably QB1, but Matt Araiza is redefining everything we know about punting. With him, punting actually is winning,
- Utah State-San Jose State: It’s football. Geaux Aggies.