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How To Football: Week 11

Where we just label every bad matchup as a trap game and ship it.

Syndication: Journal-Courier Nikos Frazier / Journal & Courier / USA TODAY NETWORK
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I Wish Mommy And Daddy Would Stop Fighting Shift

  • Oklahoma-Baylor: Two coaches that have been heavily linked to the LSU job meet in an important game in the Big 12 race. Oklahoma’s defense has been MIGHTY suspect but I don’t think that’s where the upset would come from. I think Aranda is capable of drawing up something on defense that will give Caleb Williams and the Sooners FITS.
  • Michigan-Penn State: Are both of these teams good? Yeah, both teams are good. Is either team great? Hell no. Both programs are just treading water, with Michigan still somehow in a position where they can still feasibly punch a ticket to Indianapolis. As for the game, it should be really good given how evenly matched both teams are.
  • Mississippi State-Auburn: Y’all wanna get rip drunk and go light some illegal fireworks? Watch this game.
  • UCF-SMU: Here it is, your G5 banger of the week.
  • West Virginia-Kansas State: It’s football.

Sprockets Shift

  • Georgia-Tennessee: Yeah so uh...Tennessee can chuck the ball around the yard and if one or two of those punches land...Georgia isn’t built for a track meet and I think this the one team that could give them that — oh wait no sorry, I just saw that Tennessee is wearing all black uniforms. Georgia by 28.
  • Maryland-Michigan State: For a brief moment in time, this game looked like it might be good, and then Maryland absolutely imploded. This still might be a game but I’m not exactly enthused about it.
  • Purdue-Ohio State: I would live a good Purdoing, but I think we’re too late in the season for Ohio State to be falling for Brohm’s shenanigans. But we can hope though.
  • Miami (FL)-Florida State: Like Maryland-Michigan State, the expectations for this game shifted a little bit with the Seminoles showing some signs of life and improvement while the Hurricanes have started to circle the drain a bit.
  • Minnesota-Iowa: This shift has grown tiresome. Goodbye.

DAS BOOT Shift

  • Arkansas-LSU: das boot, das boot, Das Boot, Das Boot, DAS BOOT, DAS BOOT DAS BOOT, DAS BOO-
  • Texas A&M-Ole Miss: It’ll be a pretty good game! I have nothing snarky to say! Styles make good matchups and these are two diametrically opposed teams! I’ll DVR it for sure.
  • NC State-Wake Forest: SP+ is calling this an actual tossup, which is good enough for me.
  • Notre Dame-Virginia: As it stands, Notre Dame is something we have to consider when it comes time for playoffs since their only loss is to Cincinnati. I think that might change Saturday night; these aren’t your older brother’s Cavaliers we’re playing with here.
  • TCU-Oklahoma State: I fear no god or man other than Zombie TCU, and so should you.

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

  • Washington State-Oregon: Oregon should coast here, but I’m hesitant since the Stanford game. Trust but verify.
  • Nevada-San Diego State: The rare G5 game featuring two Draft Day Two guys, made even rarer by the fact that one of them is a punter. Carson Strong is probably QB1, but Matt Araiza is redefining everything we know about punting. With him, punting actually is winning,
  • Utah State-San Jose State: It’s football. Geaux Aggies.