All Kinds of Problematic Shift
- Liberty-Ole Miss: We’re living in a world where the lesser of two evils by far is the University of Mississippi led by Lane Kiffin and I hate that. But it’ll be a fun game though.
- Wake Forest-North Carolina: Here’s your argument for pods: Wake Forest and North Carolina decided they didn’t play nearly enough under the ACC’s current format, so they scheduled a non-conference meeting in November. That’s it, that’s the reason this game is happening and is not sanctioned by the ACC.
- Air Force-Army: No mistake here, this game kicks off 30 minutes ahead of the rest of the nooners. For reasons. It’s also being played for at Jerry World, also for...reasons.
- Georgia Tech-Miami (FL): No matter how this shakes out, y’all wanna see a dead body?
- SMU-Memphis: The AAC stays blessing us with sneaky good games, we just have to swallow our pride enough to squeeze into the storm drains on Saturday to watch them. We all float down here, you’ll float too.
Don’t Say That You Love Mel, Just Say That You Want Mel Shift
- Auburn-Texas A&M: Where were when you learned that Auburn controls its destiny in the SEC West? All I’m saying is that sportsbooks are open in Louisiana and you can probably spare five dollars.
- Oklahoma State-West Virginia: Iowa State did us the honor of making sure we don’t have to pretend to care about Oklahoma State sneaking into the playoffs, but like Auburn they still very much have a viable path.
- Michigan State-Purdue: For #MeLSU purposes.
- Mississippi State-Arkansas: To balance out A&M’s milquetoast ass offense, here’s a game that will be on full tilt from the word go.
- NC State-Florida State: ...yeah man I got nothing.
You’ll Float Too Shift
- Oregon-Washington: It’s okay if you watch this game more than LSU-Bama, I won’t tell anybody. I’ll probably do the same.
- Texas-Iowa State: Tough test for Sark’s Texas team this week, it’s a good thing they haven’t had many distractions at all this week! Just laser focus on the Cyclones.
- Fresno State-Boise State: America’s quarterback Jake Haener returns to prime time to face off against Boise on the blue turf in what might lowkey be the most fun game of the day.
- Tennessee-Kentucky: Close games are not good, but they are entertaining.
Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift
- UTSA-UTEP: College GameDay should have gone to this game and you cannot change my mind on this.
- San Diego State-Hawaii: People’s Heisman frontrunner Matt Araiza will leave the Lower 48 to take his talents to the island, and frankly I’m worried that Hawaii might be bad enough on defense that we don’t really get to see the young man kick the pigskin around the yard, which is what we’re all here for late on Saturday nights.
- USC-Arizona State: go watch UTSA-UTEP and the Aztec punter, not this garbage.
- San Jose State-Nevada: Future New Orleans Saints QB Carson Strong!