We Need To Have A Talk About Walkup Songs

Yesterday, LSU baseball announced the walk-up songs for this season.

It really isn’t anything you haven’t seen before: there’s some classic rock, some bro country, some rap, Johnny Cash’s “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”, “Seven Nation Army”, “Teach Me How To Dougie”, and some christian rock. Alex Milazzo and Will Safford in particular deserve shoutouts for “My Humps” and “Bossy” by Kelis. Well done boys.

Usually we (I) do something fun with it, ranking them all. I won’t be doing that this year because we need to have a discussion.

There is a freshman pitcher on the baseball from Spring Hill, Tennessee named Blake Money.

For Blake Money’s first walkup song in his college career, Blake Money chose...”Wanted Dead Or Alive” by Bon Jovi. That’s as bad of an open goal miss as I’ve ever seen. But it’s a coachable moment, and instead of shaming the kid, we’re going to simply list some songs he had a license to choose that would have made him a fan favorite in hopes that in the future he learns the error of his ways.

And I honestly wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for this quote from Paul Mainieri: “Blake Money is a big man with a big personality. Physically and personality-wise, he reminds us so much of Todd Peterson.”

If Mr. Money does have that Todd Peterson kind of energetic personality, I’m sure he’s open to using his name and walkup song in winning over the hearts of LSU fans.

So, here’s my list of songs Blake Money should have chose:

1: “Take Me Home Tonight” | Eddie Money

I mean, come on. If you asked 100 baseball players to name their favorite “baseball song”, this song would be first or second on the Family Feud board. It’s been done to death yeah, but someone named “Blake Money” has all the license in the world to use it. And if anybody give you grief for it, tell them who your Cousin Eddie is.

2: “Money For Nothing” | Dire Straits

Here’s a pro-tip: if you’re a pitcher, the scales are tipped in your favor. Where as batters only get 8-12 seconds of a song to play, pitchers can get upwards of a whole 90 seconds. In the single version of the song, that’s more than enough to play the tense buildup from the intro to the kick-ass guitar riff while even sneaking some of the verse in.

3: “Mo Money Mo Problems” | The Notorious B.I.G.

Everyone loves a good Biggie pull, and this is the biggest and arguably best pull you could make. Plus, “More Money, More problems” is a great subliminal message to send to opposing hitters. Mental chess, not checkers.

4: “Money Longer” | Lil Uzi Vert, but bass boosted

LUV is pretty divisive but I love this instrumental and I would LOVE to hear the Alex Box PA System struggle to keep up with the booming bass.

5: “Money” | Pink Floyd

Again, as a pitcher, you get 90 seconds. Why not make the most of it with one the best song intros ever and a sweet ass bass riff?

6: “Money Maker” | Ludacris

Choosing songs from the mid-2000’s is a cheap pop, but as we’ve learned from the likes of Milazzo and Safford, people love those cheap pops.

7: “Lawyers, Guns and Money” | Warren Zevon

This is just a great song. I would like to hear it all the times, even at baseball games. Who do you send when shit has hit the fan? That’s right, Lawyers, Guns and Blake Money.

8: “Take The Money And Run” | Steve Miller Band

clapclapclapclapclap.

9: “1st of Tha Month” | Bone Thugs-N-Harmony

Just in case you want a little subtlety.

10: “money machine” | 100 gecs

I just want you to do two things: press play on this video and imagine the look on Mainieri’s face when it is blaring on the PA system.