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How To Football: Week 8


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Orange Crush Shift

  • Syracuse-Clemson: A Top 15 matchup and a battle of undefeated teams, and a game Clemson will probably win by 14. But still, Clemson has been flirting with being ass and this could be the game it comes home to roost for them.
  • Kansas-Baylor: Back-to-back losses for the Jayhawks have brought the wave the program was riding to a crashing stop and unfortunately it looks like that streak may grow to three in a row.
  • Cincinatti-SMU: SMU’s been kinda secretly shitty in Rhett Lashlee’s first year, barely edging out the Midshipmen last week to snap a three-game losing streak. Unlikely to pull the upset, but then the machine is humming they can definitely hang.
  • Houston-Navy: Dana Holgorson absolutely does not respect the troops nor the 3.5 line.

Hell Shift

  • Ole Miss-LSU: We all know what happened the last time a top ten undefeated Ole Miss came to Death Valley. GTHOM.
  • Texas-Oklahoma State: Bad news: Texas isn’t a joke anymore. Good news: at least they should be in a position to give us games that might be complete bangers, like this one. This one may be on the DVR come Sunday morning.
  • UCLA-Oregon: Another great game we’ll miss, if you haven’t checked in on Oregon since the Dawgs ran them out of Megatron’s butthole they’re starting to piece it together. They barely edged out Washington State but apart from that, they’ve beaten teams they should beat convincingly. I have my Secretly Shitty radar going off for UCLA, but give em their roses (pun not intended), they beat Washington and Utah on the trot. Could be a game that tells us a lot about both sides.
  • West Virginia-Texas Tech: Not much to look forward to narratively in this game, it’ll just likely be a stupid fun game, emphasis on stupid.

Fraud Alert Shift

  • Minnesota-Penn State: Yeah the night shift is kinda ass because this is probably best game going. Should be close, SP+ is calling this an effective toss-up. Just not a real sexy helmet game to spend the night with.
  • Texas A&M-South Carolina: Presented without comment: SP+ favors the Gamecocks in a toss-up that would drop Texas A&M to 1-3 in SEC play with their only win coming off an Arkansas doink. Oh shit that was a comment nevermind.
  • Kansas State-TCU: Styles make for good matchups, and you’ll be hard pressed to find more of a stylistic clash than this one.
  • Boise State-Air Force: How much difference a month makes. This time last month we were marveling at the dominance of the Falcons while gasping at the shell of themselves Boise had become. Only for the Broncs to sit at 3-0 in conference play while Air Force is 2-2. But they have a good chance to pull one back as they should match up well and have a path to play it close.

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

  • Washington-Cal: Woof, Cal is bad. Like...baaaad. Lose to Colorado on an interim bad.
  • Montana-Sacramento State: Yeah, watch this FCS hotness instead. SP+ is calling this a 3 point game that should have a decent blend of offense and defense.
  • San Diego State-Nevada: Can’t say this’ll be good football but at least it’ll be close? I hope?