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How To Football: Week 13

Once more into the breach we go...with a Pepsi Twist

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The Yanks Are Coming Shift

  • USA-England: It’s football. The most important football.
  • Baylor-Texas: As we saw last week, even if Aranda’s Bears aren’t as good as they were last year they’re still game and can give the Longhorns a run for their money here and get a better bowl out of it. Conversely, Bijan Robinson is heating up and is as fun as ever.
  • Tulane-Cincinnati: Welcome to post-division college football: UCF is third in the AAC. However, the winner of this game will play the Knights for the title since the loser will have an identical record without the tiebreaker over the Knights. How fun is that?
  • Utah State-Boise State: It’s football.

Battle Line Shift

  • Arkansas-Missouri: Mizzou needs this win to reach bowl eligibility, but bad news: KJ Jefferson is back and Rocket Sanders is in top form.
  • NC State-North Carolina: Two weeks ago, it looked like this game could shape up to have huge ACC and possibly CFP implications. Then the Wolfpack lost two on the trot to Boston College and llvll, and UNC went and lost to Georgia Tech of all teams. That’s a wet fart.
  • Nebraska-Iowa: I’m not especially happy about it, but it’s football.

Seminole Wind Shift

  • Florida-Florida State: I swear to God, I’ll pistol whip the next person to ask me if I still want Napier with a shit eating grin.

Mountain and the West Shift

  • Wyoming-Fresno State: It’s football.

The Game Shift

  • Michigan-Ohio State: This is it, the big kahuna, the big game, the spotlight showdown, the game of the century, the helmet game, the game to watch, the duel of the season, the big finale, the—
  • South Carolina-Clemson: My interest in this game has drastically gone up based on the results of last weekend, yes. Spencer Rattler has always been a streaky player and he has the hot hand right now, and that could be well enough to get one over on Sakerlina’s most hated rival.
  • Georgia State-Marshall: It’s football and could be a good game.
  • Grambling-Southern: In this house we long and support the Bayou Classic.

Turkey Sandwich Shift

  • llvll-Kentucky: I have a pretty good handle on what kind of team Kentucky is (mediocre) but man, there’s no telling what Cardinals team you’re going to get each week. Absolutely no telling. Anything can happen based on what team in red and black shows up. Who knows man.
  • Memphis-SMU: Here are two more teams that may not be “good” but will be fun to watch together.
  • Oregon-Oregon State: I want to believe that Oregon State has something to make this a fun game, but Oregon bossing up to the Utes last week make me think the Ducks will have this win in hand.

Texas 4-8 Shift

  • LSU-Texas A&M: Jokes on you, I don’t eat breakfast. Piss away.
  • Notre Dame-USC: playoff implications
  • Oklahoma-Texas Tech: SP+ only has the Sooners by less than a touchdown and extra point here, so go ahead and bet that Sooner ML.
  • Appalachian State-Georgia Southern: Speaking of piss...

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

  • Washington State-Washington: The Apple Cup fun this year? More than that, it could be good? Weird! And not how it’s usually weird!
  • BYU-Stanford: What a way to end the regular season, ew.