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How To Football: Week 9

We’re on a bye this week, in more ways than one.

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I’m not gonna hold y’all, it’s the bye week for LSU and I’m writing this on Thursday an hour before I leave to go see Stop Making Sense remastered in 4K at the Manship Theater. We’re gonna go through this college football Saturday rapid fire. The no-huddle starts now, ready break.

Wave The Wheat Shift

  • South Carolina-Texas A&M: Somebody is going to lose this game it’s going to be ugly for them.
  • Houston-Kansas State: The Wildcats are getting nowhere near enough respect for the season they are having and I think they can end up being a fly in the ointment.
  • West Virginia-UCF: Will the Knights get their first ever big boy conference victory? It’s a possibility.
  • Oklahoma-Kansas: RIP Jalon Daniels


  • Oregon-Utah: Oregon’s already tenuous PAC-12 hopes are going to be put to the test when they face the bullies of the block on defense.
  • Georgia-Florida: This has 32-7 snoozer written all over it.
  • BYU-Texas: We all know what happened the last time the Cougars hit up Austin.
  • Mississippi State-Auburn: Auburn’s probably going to win, but they’ve been such a Jeckyll and Hyde team it’s hard to be certain of that.
  • BYE WEEK BONUS — Wyoming-Boise State: It could be very likely that Boise’s run as the big G5 program west of the Mississippi has drawn to a close. Watch this space.

Hooch Holler Shift

  • Colorado-UCLA: The eyes of the nation will be drawn to the most dynamic coach in all of college football: Chip Kelly.
  • Tennessee-Kentucky: [sound of moonshine sloshing out of jug and into jar]
  • Cincinnati-Oklahoma State: Don’t look now, but maybe Gundy has righted the ship in Stillwater again?
  • UNC=GT: It’s football.

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

  • Oregon State-Arizona: If you hate realignment, it is your civic duty to watch this game and root for the Beavs to drop the hammer.
  • New Mexico-Nevada: It’s football.
  • UNLV-Fresno State: Still football.