How To Football: Week 5

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Rad River Shift

• LSU-Missouri: I want die.
• Oklahoma Texas: This is the one rivalry game where not only anything can happen, the opposite of expectations often happens. When the Longhorns are favored, the Sooners blow them out and vice versa. When one team is heavily favored, it’s always a tight game. Like clockwork. This year the outlook is muddy, and we’ll really learn a ton about each team here.
• Maryland-Ohio State: Another week, another sleepy Ohio State 31-14 win.
• Marshall-NC State: Charles Huff can all but lock up the job in East Lansing if he manages to do the damn thing here .

Processing Shift

• Alabama-Texas A&M: SP+ is calling this a toss up with a slight Alabama lean, and that...feels...right? A&M being relegated to having to use Max Johnson feels like it’s robbing them of a prime opportunity to knock off an Alabama team WHICH appears to be finding its footing. Is the process back?
• Syracuse-North Carolina: We’re a game away from either 4-1 Syracuse or a 5-0 North Carolina, both of which are absolutely fascinating. Excited for this one.
• Virginia Tech-Florida State: Florida State is going to win, but this is a good measuring stick for Virginia Tech.
• UCF-Kansas: Hopefully Jalon Daniels can suit up this week and we can get a banger out of this game, because on paper this looks like a real humdinger.

BUTT Shift

• Kentucky-Georgia: I’m not saying...I’m just sayin’...
• Florida A&M-Southern: This is an LSU blog. You should know what this means. And if you don’t, then I can’t help you. Rectify that.
• Arkansas-Ole Miss: KJ Jefferson against Ole Miss’ defense? Yes, please.
• Texas Tech-Baylor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a intra-Texas Anxiety Bowl.

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

• Arizona-USC: Thanks to the PAC-12 Network still being a thing and Hawaii being on a bye, this is out only offering in the late night shift. They can’t all be winners.