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How To Football: Week 5

A highly definitive guide to college football Saturday.

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Orange Crush Shift

  • Clemson-Syracuse: We are monitoring and assessing the Clemson situation.
  • Arkansas-Texas A&M: Friend of the program Alex Kirshner said is extremely succinctly when he said that “these two teams only play one type of game when they play and I don’t see why this game will be any different” on this week’s Split Zone Duo. Hard agree, Alex.
  • Florida-Kentucky: It’ll be a nearly unwatcahable dreck of an offensive game but it should be close, so take it when you can get it from the nooners.
  • South Alabama-James Madison: Here is your G5 game of the week. Should be an absolute heater of a game.

Deep in the Heeaaaaart of Texas Shift

  • Kansas-Texas: We are LOCKED in to Kansas +16.5 here folks. Wyoming gave Texas fits and Alabama moved the ball at will, I’m fascinated to see what Jalon Daniels can do.
  • Houston-Texas Tech: Yeah I can’t make heads or tails of Texas Tech. Upset by Wyoming, game with a clearly better Oregon team and really played them closer than the score indicates, and then drops one to WVU. At least I know Houston is normal bad.
  • Georgia-Auburn: I don’t have the hate in my heart to cut a promo on this game brother, god bless.
  • Baylor-UCF: Dave...don’t lose this game to go to 0-5. Don’t do it.


  • LSU-Ole Miss:
  • Notre Dame-Duke: While it should be a great game, I’m mostly interested to see who all the Laker and Cowboys fans root for in this game.
  • Pitt-Virginia Tech: I think we have a certified Anxiety Bowl here. After losing to Rutgers and Marshall in back to back weeks, things could look BLEAK for VT. They’re not going to fire him, but the outlook wouldn’t be great. Conversely, I think the Nard Dogg is outstaying his welcome in the three rivers and losing to a team coming off clunkers against Rutgers and Marshall isn’t a great look.
  • South Carolina-Tennessee: It’s football.

Robert Kekaula Memorial Shift

  • Alabama-Mississippi State: ESPN doing the 5/8 p.m. split means we get the rare SEC game in the RKMS. And that’s about the only interesting thing about this game.
  • Nevada-Fresno State: Nevada bad Fresno good. Go to bed.